"Wentworth Prison" – Recensione Ep 1×15 di Outlander

È un po’ difficile parlare com’è mia consuetudine, dopo un episodio del genere.
Mi sento come David Letterman (Miss u Dave) che ritorna con la prima puntata del Late Show subito dopo la tragedia dell’11 Settembre.
Ma se c’è una cosa che grandi personaggi come Dave e i gemelli Weasley ci hanno insegnato, è che il male si sconfigge con una risata.
Dunque perdonate la mia leggerezza, la mia superficialità da blonde inside, mentre cerco di tirarvi fuori da questo mare di oscurità con la forza di un sorriso.
Comincio subito col dire che ho una macabra passione per i castelli e le fortezze antiche e che semmai avrò la fortuna di visitare la Scozia, la prigione di Wentworth sarà uno dei primi luoghi che visiterò.
Deve essere pieno di fantasmi quel posto, tante anime ammucchiate che in confronto il sovraffollamento delle carceri italiane è una barzelletta.
Immaginatemi come un protagonista di un film horror, uno di quelli con la videocamera che in stile Paranormal Activity, si muove per casa facendo domande stupide come: “c’è qualcuno qui? Se ci sei mostrami un segno della tua presenza” .
Semmai dovessimo fare una domanda del genere in quella prigione, avremmo migliaia di rumori di oggetti che cadono, catene che urtano la pietra, passi, vetri rotti, poiché tutte le anime tormentate metterebbero su il concerto del 1 Maggio.
Melinda Gordon (Ghost Whisperer) avrebbe così tanto lavoro da fare lì, che a furia di mandare anime verso la luce, raggiungerebbe l’età pensionabile.
Questo perché a Wentworth, vigeva una schema ben preciso.
La routine quotidiana era:
– Svegli all’alba;
– Colazione con i biscotti inzupposi di Banderas e Rosita;
– Guardare una replica di Verissimo – Speciale Outlander mentre si sciacqua la Giubba Rossa con Vanish Ravviva Colori (vivono in mezzo ai cadaveri e alla polvere, vanno a cavallo e hanno sempre le divise pulite e con quella tonalità di scarlatto vivo? Non c’è altra spiegazione)
– Scendere giù a impiccare la gente.

Una procedura così lunga che richiedeva gran parte della giornata.
Le conversazioni tipo dei dipendenti della prigione, erano:
“Pausa caffè?”
“Solo 5 minuti però, ho ancora 836 persone da impiccare”
“Ma che sarà mai.. ieri io ne ho fatte 1002”
“Allora mi concedo anche una siga”
“Fortunato te, io ho un sacco di scartoffie da sbrigare”
“Bollette e bilanci della prigione?”
“No, lista dei nomi dei prossimi condannati”
“Ah”

Insomma, a Wentworth la parola chiave è: Shonda Rhimes… ehm..Morte, scusate, volevo dire morte.
Roberta Bruzzone si sentirebbe a casa in quella fortezza.

Bruno Vespa ha già pensato di realizzare un plastico della prigione e di girarci uno speciale di 4 puntate.
Noi assistiamo annoiati a questa catena di montaggio della morte e lasciamo la puntata scorrere, mentre andiamo a prepararci i pop corn in cucina e quando torniamo, diciamo dopo una decina di minuti, ci sono ancora Giubbe Rosse che impiccano gente.
La palpebra cede fino a quando il presentatore del Scotland Horror Story: Wentworth Prison annuncia il nome della nostra guest star preferita: James Fraser.
E lì di nuovo tutti attenti e vigili come Rocco Siffredi quando sente la parola: ‘fica’.

Tocca a Jamie, è arrivato il suo momento.
Tutto sembra perduto, lui è in pericolo, l’incubo prende vita.
Ma come in tutte le favole, quando la principessa è in mano alla strega cattiva, ecco che arriva il Principe Azzurro, sul suo bel destriero, a salvarla.

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Ha inizio così, la più contorta, malata, oscura e sadica storia d’amore di tutti i tempi.
Innanzitutto abbiamo capito che nel tempo libero, Randall, ama guardare i programmi di Maria.
Lo si evince dal fatto che sa come corteggiare, sa come organizzare un’esterna.
A Jamie riserva una delle celle dell’area vip, camera singola, vista montagna di cadaveri di Wentworth (dunque una vista mozzafiato e tipica del luogo), gli fa preparare una cenetta romantica a lume di torcia, un bagno caldo e un biglietto:
“Goditi il viaggio,
amerai il finale”

Che romanticone il nostro Randall.
Partiamo con l’RWM della loro esterna.
Dopo la cena, Randall decide di fare una sorpresa a Jamie…

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Nel frattempo la dolce Claire, che proprio non sa stare ferma con le mani in mano, si finge una rispettabile e cattolicissima signora inglese, mentre dialoga con il nonno di Jessica Fletcher.
Ed ecco spiegato, perché la signora in giallo si presenta ogni qual volte c’è profumo di morte.

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Usando Murtagh come Patronum, Claire si fa strada in quella prigione piena di dissenatori.
Arriva e irrompe nell’esterna tra Jamie e Randall, regalandoci un crossover con Masters of Sex.

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Jamie è stanco di tutto questo parlare di sesso, torture, posizioni, masochismo.
Argomenti sui quali Jack e Claire sono preparatissimi… sarà perché 200 anni dopo, C le ha provate con Frank?
Jamie è ossessionato da questo pensiero e lui che è nato per essere un guerriero scozzese e non un pornostar, temendo che Randall arrivi a proporre addirittura un’orgia, cerca di salvare Claire modificando la proposta che Meredith Grey ha fatto a Derek Shepherd anni addietro.

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Randall non se lo fa ripetere due volte, d’altronde ogni istante ha portato a quello.
È come se avessero detto a Flavia Vento, che Leonardo di Caprio vuole una notte d’amore con lei.
Non perde tempo e accompagna Claire all’uscita, la quale lo saluta caldamente prima di andarsene.

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Conclusione:
Al di là degli scherzi, è stata una puntata molto dura, cruda.
Forse le scene più violente e psicologicamente dolorose, mai viste in tv.
Kudos al Golden Trio, perché in questa puntata hanno dato il meglio.
In particolare a Tobias, che sembra essere nato per interpretare Jack Randall.
Ci ha trasmesso tutta quell’oscurità, depravazione, violenza e perversione, che tinteggiano l’animo di questo personaggio.
Una performance da brividi e che merita di essere premiata con una valanga di Emmy.
Le scene di Wentworth, sono state così magistralmente perfette che non sembrava di vedere una serie televisiva ma un film al cinema da premio Oscar.
Una menzione speciale anche a Sam, perché con un solo sguardo ha reso reale tutto il dolore e l’umiliazione che un uomo proverebbe in quei casi.
Proposta: facciamo incontrare a Jack Randall, Ramsay Bolton di Game of Thrones.
Secondo me sarebbero perfette anime gemelle.
E sai che show ne uscirebbe..
Di certo in questa serie recitano attori con un talento straordinario, mica cani e porci.
Questo vostro giudizio deve rimanere intatto fino alla prossima puntata, anche se le protagoniste che salveranno la situazione, saranno una mandria di vacche in calore.
Voto: 9,5

10 thoughts on “"Wentworth Prison" – Recensione Ep 1×15 di Outlander

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